


Little Windows

by papermoney



Series: all the way from the east coast [3]
Category: Dancing with the Stars (US) RPF
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), F/M, Family, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 00:24:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11219364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/papermoney/pseuds/papermoney
Summary: Nine ficlets about love, family, kids, fights, work, brotherly shenanigans, + one slightly crude optical illusion.





	Little Windows

**Author's Note:**

> This is a chronological continuation of the series, so there's backstory in there but it's not mandatory reading for these to make sense (I hope). Many thanks to Gabriella & Julia! <3

** DIFFERENT **

Laurie looks out the plane's plastic window and settles into the five hour flight from Los Angeles to Newark, happy but scared to feel it all the way. Her family thinks she went out to see ABC about some future season or guest appearance, but it was only to consummate this thing with Val that's been simmering for probably longer than anyone wants to know.  

Rather than rehearse a palatable explanation that's still true, she replays the weekend over and over. The physical threshold that was once abstract and far away had been very much crossed after re-learning the geometry of how they fit together, and she knows him from new angles now, like width and weight. When she was sullen and packing to leave he got her to smile with, "I think with more practice, we could probably get a trophy for bedroom stuff, too."

Pragmatism is important, though, because he's busy and she's eighteen; it feels rather adult to recognize their hurdles, as tempting as it is to turn back around and never leave. She slips in and out of a doze remembering how he'd bite that pink pillow of a lip and be a whimpering mess one minute, then remind her how much stronger he was the next.

When the plane finally touches down, it's habit to check if he's posted anything, and he has.

 

**LIL NUGGET APPRECIATION!  
**

 

Oh, God.

Her face feels baked just from a glance and it takes a moment to try again. He's assembled a half dozen pictures of them - winning, laughing, and there's one of her in the red beret from just a few weeks ago. They hadn't even kissed yet but she recognizes a spark of hope in her eyes.

 

 

_When she's around, joy's unfettered_

_With her I'm better_

_than I was before_

_Dancefloor pour_

_it all out_

_I'm all about_

_the drug that's Nug._

_Love-shoved off the roof_

_Always awed by the proof_

_There's no better story_

_Than_ _Laurie._

 

Oh, God.

She doesn't dare read the comments, and it's a comfort and terror that he's texted, too.

 

**I can't tell the world about us yet but I gotta tell em something. Hope it's not too much**

 

I love it, but be careful

 

**I will**

 

Thanks for turning me insideout this weekend. Not quite sure how to regroup and go on. walk me thru it?

 

**Can't. If anyone needs help it's me**

 

Mom's outside the terminal waiting with the car and she's so sweet and pure Laurie feels dirty just being alive. "So? When's the all-stars?"

So begins her discomfort in skirting the truth. "Maybe someday. Nothing's official now, though."

"Silly to go all that way if nothing's official," mom notes, and pulls out into the slow flow of cars.

"I guess." There's no elegant way to admit what she went out there for. Traffic's thick and ugly and her pulse climbs with dread and excitement; she takes a single deep breath and tries to get it over with. "I saw Val, too. We had dinner together."

"That must've been fun."

"Yeah, it was amazing. Something felt different with us."

"Different how?"

"I don't know. Like...better?"

"That's nice."

"Like we've always been close but it wasn't the same. Maybe because we didn't have anything else to focus on - 'cause when we were dancing it was all about dancing, or when he watches me compete it's all about that. But this time it was just us for a while. It was so nice."

"Hmm."

It's so weird - is she even listening? There's definitely stuff that would get her attention.

_We got to the airport so early it was still dark and I made him pull over in the cell phone waiting lot. I still can't believe I can get him hard with barely even trying, so I reached over and started touching him. I knew he was sore 'cause we both were from overdoing it all weekend, but I kept my hand really gentle and after he finished he said it was the sweetest pain of his life._

Yeah, mom doesn't need to hear that.

"Like I wanna kiss him forever and I dunno...I guess I really love him."

She's smiling but she's also very focused on the road. "That's great, honey. We love him, too."

 

*

 

It's disappointing that her confession was too weak to be recognized, but the story makes Val laugh his ass off when they FaceTime that night. 

"It's not funny!"

"Yeah it is!" Val counters. "It's like something outta Seinfeld!"  

"Huh. You're no help." He's leaning up against the now-familiar headboard and it tickles her to think she was there with him only hours ago. "I like seeing you in context now that I know where you live."

The screen flashes to a view of the glass on the nightstand. "There's your flowers." Rumpled bedding. "Where the magic happens." Abs.  "All that."

"Walk me around."

He pushes up and shows her all the mundane things...an inadvertent flash of his bare feet on the way to the kitchen, where there's the bigger bouquet and toast crumbs from that morning. He puts his phone in the fridge for a moment and she screams about being too cold, then closes it in his palms to warm her up.

 "Mm, that's enough. I'm okay now."

"Good." His arm extends so they can see each other again.  "Anything else you wanna see?"

"All of it. Just walk me around and keep talking. It makes me feel like I'm still there."

The tour continues with stops for closet, laundry, and window views, and then he settles back into bed, cocking his arm up behind his head and she vainly wonders if there will ever a tattoo for her. "I moped around and went back to bed after you left. Then I made that post, sent you a postcard, and wrote out a lot of stuff about you, about us. It felt good to get it out on paper." He tilts his head and looks away. "I don't know how I can wait till December to see you again."

Laurie nods and bites her lip. "It doesn't seem fair to have all that for two days and then not have it."

"Someday I hope we'll have all we can stand," he says. "But until then, we've got this little window." He traces the phone perimeter with a fingertip and reaches out to boop her virtual nose and she can't help but smile and do it back. 

 

 

 

** LARISA **

Peta & Maks assemble dinner in their luxe arena of a kitchen and refuse all offers of help, so the elders sit up at the eating bar with a bottle of Tacuil-Davalos and watch. There's a fluid grace about how they work together, chopping and spinning as a real team. "You two've gotten a lot better at this."

"Thanks, pop."

"Smoke alarm hasn't gone off even once."

"Now. That only happened the one time."

Larisa remembers being present for three such incidents but doesn't say so, because it's far nicer to watch the precious show unfolding out the side window: Shai plucks a snow pea off the string trellis in his garden box and feeds it to uncle Val, who gains superpowers so immediate he sprints around the yard. Shai chases him and howls with laughter, and then they do it again. And again. She should be enchanted as a mother and a grandmother - and she is - but a dark edge crops up now and then and crowds out some of the light.

There's never been a favorite son but it's impossible not to compare, especially given the parallel progress they'd had for so long. But now Maks has so much that by comparison it seems like Val has nothing. He's kept the same two apartments on both coasts for years now and they barely look lived in, and he's so busy it's almost as if he's running from something. For a while there'd been a string of women, but they all wrapped up quietly and no one ever knew why. Was it him? Or them? Sasha worries, too, and almost every time they're together he has opportunity to say put the phone away malish, you don't need ten thousand people liking another picture of you with your shirt off. It usually gets a laugh but he's never kidding.

Shai shrieks and Val loops back and collapses in the grass, feigning total exhaustion that can only be remedied by another pea pod. It's too real, the sight of him sagging like that, and he starts poking around on his phone. His mother sighs.

He has too much to give and he shouldn't be alone.

Sasha stands up. "Don't," she pleads, but he goes outside and stands over Val, holding out his hand for surrender of the phone while Val sits up and tries to talk his way out of it.

"Mama," Maks says, concerned. "You look so sad."

 

*

 

Over dinner, all worry seems unfounded because Val's animated and smiling. After they all give up on getting Shai to eat sorrel, Maks starts talking about the renovation at the Fort Lee Dance With Me. "Tony sent pictures the other day. It looks great, you should see it."

"I did," Val says. "I was over there last week sweeping up after they tore that partial wall out. What a mess. Worth it, though."

"Well aren't you Mr. Hands On."

"Hands on another one of these." He snags the bread basket and slides it over. "You know why the western world has an unhealthy obsession with carbs?"

"Why?"

"Because they're so effing good. I could eat ten of these." He carefully tears a roll in half and tucks a blob of butter inside. "Remember Laurie? She's gonna stop by. She had an appointment in the city and I said she should come say hi on her way back home."

"Oh, I'm glad," Peta beams, chin in her hands. "Remind me where she lives?"

"Old Bridge Township. Way south of here."

"Mmm. Quite a drive."

"Yeah, there's a guy in Hell's Kitchen who custom-built a bionic knee thing that she sleeps in while she's training hard. Which is the only thing she does these days."

"Besides visit the bionic knee guy," Maks says.

Val stretches to kick him under the table and Shai starts pulling a roll apart with his thumbs like his uncle did and watches to make sure he notices. They snicker like they're the naughtiest boys on earth but then Val's phone blips and he gets up from the table. "That must be her."

There's the clunk of a car door and friendly noise outside, then he leads Laurie in by the hand. It's been a while and it's a surprise all over again how small she is. "Hi-ii," she sings, shyly hunching her shoulders with a tiny royal wave. She makes the rounds of backwards hugs and pats around the table while Val drags over a spare chair so she can sit by him.

"We could probably guess," Sasha says. "But what's been keeping you busy?"

"Getting ready for Tokyo. That's, like, all I do."

Val nudges her. "Tell 'em your schedule."

"Nah. Nobody wants to hear that."

"Fine, but if you think I'm busy, this young lady puts me to shame." He peppers the back of her hand with a hundred little machine-gun kisses. "Mm mm! Nuggala!"

"Really, Laurie," Peta says. "What's a day like for you? I can't imagine."

"Well...okay. I get up at five." She outlines a day of meticulous planning, practice, naps and ice and they're all a bit awestruck; Val watches with soft adoration even though he already knows.

"No one's gonna cheer for you louder than me. Hey, we were about to cut into an orange chocolate tart, if you want some."

"Wow, that sounds so good but I can't. I ate a cupcake last week and it was noticeable."

"What about full-fat yogurt?" Peta asks. "We've got strawberries growing outside, too. We get a big handful almost every day."

Laurie seems embarrassed by the fuss over her but nods. "Yeah, I can have that."

Val gets up. "I'll make it for you. Stay here."

"No, I'll come with. I need to move around and I wanna make sure you don't give me too much."

"That discipline's admirable. And a little bit tragic," Maks says, and Val whacks him on the head on his way out of the room.

Larisa decides to move, too, and starts clearing dishes. "Oh, mum," Peta says. "You don't have to," but when that's waved off she settles back and pulls Shai into her lap, singing that he's still her tiny baby even though he loudly insists that he's big.

Rinsing off a few things in the sink, she notices the sun tipping a metallic shimmer in Laurie's clothes while they hunt for the best strawberries in the garden box. She's been an under-the-radar presence in Val's life for how many years now? He's built a solid army of close friends that he adores and maybe that's all he needs right now. Maybe the minute she stops worrying about him is the minute he'll be okay.

Sasha brings in a stack of plates behind her. "Nice night."

"It is. Nice to see that young lady again, too. She's good for Val. I've always liked her."

He sets the plates down and pauses. "So does your son."

It's an odd answer, and she looks up to see Laurie holding all the berries and Val tipping to kiss her.

_Oh._

There's a loose familiarity about the way he cups her face, and it appears they're having some kind of conversation between kisses. "I don't think it's the first time they've done that."

"Hmm. Doesn't look like it." 

Val says something that makes Laurie laugh and dives back in for one more quick one, but they're the most platonic of friends when they come back in the kitchen.

"I'll eyeball it," he says. "Trust me."

"No more than half a cup. No, really! Measure it and don't give me any extra."

"I suppose sugar's out."

"Um, what do you think?" She shoots his mother a look like _can you believe this guy._

She holds out her hand to Laurie. "I'll cut those."

"Oh. Thanks." Their hands touch in the pass-off and those eyes are so big and so pretty she doesn't seem real.

"Go siddown. I'll bring it to you," Val says, and starts looking for a dish while his mother rinses the strawberries and hulls them with deft little twists of a paring knife.

"Why the hell are all these bowls so big? Why...okay. Maybe this one." It's obviously Shai's because blue elephants circle the rim, and it should at least make her smile but she doesn't.  "Mama, you look like you're about to cry. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm happy for you."

"Yeah?" He laughs. "Why?"

"You weren't invisible outside, you know."

"Oh." He looks away, a little coy. "I'm happy for me, too."

"Come over here." She squishes his handsome face in her hands, cold strawberry water and all. "Tell me everything."

"It's been going on a while but we're keeping it quiet for now. She's under so much pressure and people might not like the age thing, so..."

"But you're happy."

"Oh my God." Eyes crinkle from his smile and it makes him look young. "It's been great and it's gonna get even better. I'm gonna spoil her so much when this is all over."

She kisses his cheek and gives another squeeze. "That's good."

"I think..." He looks at the floor. "I think this might be it for me, finally. And it's a relief 'cause I'm so bad at this. Even after all that practice."

"I don't believe it."

"It's true. With every other girl I put too much work into what it looked like from the outside. That was more important than being happy or being nice. I mean, it wasn't _all_ bad," He runs a knife under hot water and starts cutting up the tart. "But I'm not proud of a lot of it."

She wonders what he's referencing but then lets it go; they stop talking altogether and assemble everyone's dessert - five chocolate triangles, a sliver for Shai, and the elephant bowl for Laurie. He lines his left arm with three plates like a waiter, but when he reaches for the bowl Larisa swats his hand away.

"I want to bring it to her." 

 

 

 

** TOKYO **

The world watches her, her fam, and him. He gets so nervous watching her. There's no reason to be, but he unconsciously hikes his t-shirt up over his nose & mouth and it becomes a meme for about ten seconds. In the peripheral coverage, it's never really guessed that they're together because he kisses and adores her the same amount he always has, but he came to the Land of the Rising Sun with five rings hidden in his pocket.

Four are made of stretchy rubber: blue, yellow, red, and green, and it took roughly seventeen dollars in quarters to get them out of the vintage Toy n Joy machine at an insufferable Brooklyn shop that sells hipster hats. The fifth one's a simple platinum band with diamonds all the way around because he can't picture anything much bigger on Laurie's tiny hand, but he'll start with that and if she wants something the size of a big-ass gumball, he'll give her that, too.

His Olympic-themed plan is to dispense them one color at at a time and end with the real one, but there's never enough time. He barely gets to see her and when he does there's too many people around, but one night she texts:

 

**Come get me! I'd rather see you than sleep**

 

His own sleep schedule's irreparably fucked up and he gladly steals her out of the village for a walk. "I need this," she says, linking an arm with his. "Like...I am so wound up. Thinking about tomorrow and everyone keeps asking if I'll do this again in four years and how do I even answer that? I want to keep going, but..."

"You'll be twenty four and that's ancient."

"Yeah. No offense."

He smiles. "None taken."

"I'm just...not sure what to do with myself now."

He stops walking. It seems as good a time as any, and he digs in his front pocket for the ring. "I could probably keep you occupied."

 

 

 

** NOTICED **

She doesn't compete in it, but she wears it on the medals stand.

It's a slight insult that the world doesn't see her as a romantic commodity, like when Entertainment Tonight notices the ring and hypothesizes it's a gift to herself.

"The understated band isn't the only hardware she's coming home with. We caught up with Laurie in the airport to hopefully get the scoop."

"So, Laurie. What's with the ring? Did you treat yourself?"

"My beau gave it to me."

"You have a beau?"

She smiles. "Yeah."

"Is he a fellow Olympian? Is it someone we've heard of?"

She crosses her eyes slightly and keeps walking, doesn't answer and doesn't look back.

There's conjecture that it's the water polo guy she seemed chummy with during the opening ceremonies, but then she tells the world on the Today Show.

"Laurie, everybody wants to know. Who gave you that ring?"

"It's from Val."

"Val. You mean Val with the big last name? Dancing with the Stars?"

"Yeah, he's in the green room probably dying right now. Anyway, can we please talk about the team? Because it was an amazing experience and all four of us are here, so maybe we could focus on that."

 

 

 

** APRICOTS **

The wedding magazines are thick as phone books, and every time she pages through one she ends up feeling lost and sort of depressed. 

"It's like...I care," she begins. "But some of this is too much. Part of me wants to relinquish all control."

"Really? 'Cause _all_ of me wants that."

She smiles. Going from never-been-to-prom to wedding with no bridge between has been interesting, but it seems like she ought to be enjoying it more. They both insist that the end result and not the event is what matters, but no one in either family seems charmed by the simplicity of that. The opinions and advice are exhausting.

"We should play roulette."

"God, don't even joke about that. It's not that bad!"

"No, like..." Val picks up one of the magazines. "Sing some Rozenbaum, and I'll flip through as fast as I can, and whatever page I'm on when you stop we gotta do whatever's on it. We'll take turns."

Her eyes are huge. "You're insane."

"Yeah, but all of this is. Come on! This is one of the best ideas I've ever had!"

"Okay," she says, and clears her throat and starts to sing.

It becomes and afternoon of gangster songs, papercuts, and real progress. Their colors end up being green and orange and they have five attendants each and a brown sugar cake, but Laurie draws a line at the marzipan apricots tumbling down the sides because they look like butts.

"I'm serious!" she shouts. "Nothing could look more like a butt without being an actual butt and I'm not asking people to eat that!" She pauses. "Unless you think it might be funny. Actually..."

Her smile widens and Val knows he's chosen the right person.

 

 

 

** TEMPER **

Sharna sends a warning text.

 

**dance good, scores BAD hes upset. Good luck luv u**

 

He comes home like a roar, swearing and loud and even after the text she still isn't ready for it. "I've fucking had it. _Had it._ " He throws his jacket on the chair and it slides off, and he has to turn away to stop himself from kicking it to splinters.

Laurie quickly picks it up and smooths it over her arm. "Here, sit down."

"I don't want to."

He'll start pacing around like a lion and either punch a hole in a wall or break something. "Here. Come on." He's often steerable if she gets so close her breasts crush against him and he unconsciously tips to sniff her hair. She gets her arms around him and pushes him backwards. "Sit down and tell me what happened."

"You know all about the years-long fucked up politics of that place," he says, smoldering. "Not firsthand because for some reason they were good to us, but...you know.  It's like we're out there fucking killing it every week but there's always the smarmy comments and shit scores.  So maybe I put a little mustard on the after-interview."

"Oh no."

"Oh yeah. They're either gonna have to bleep it or cut most of it out, and I know I have a duty to my partner, but she's over it, too."

"That's too bad. It seemed like she was having fun."

"Not when there's no reward. And she even said tonight that there's no neutrality or fairness because people either love me or hate me and had she been paired up with literally anyone else she could maybe win it. She even told Len to go fuck himself under her breath but everybody heard it."

"Whoa."

"Yeah. They can film our next rehearsal package at Chez Jay on a pair of fuckin' barstools. I'm not doing this shit anymore."

"Val-"

"I'm serious. I don't need this. Even Adam says go with it, be the bad boy or whatever, and like...it's a fucking _storyline_ now. I've been doing this for how many years? And it never used to be this way. It used to be about dancing."

She circles arms around his shoulders and feels unhelpful. "I'm sorry."

"I feel empty. Like, a lot of the time. Never with you and not when I'm working on charity stuff or the studios but that's not enough."

She gently threads her fingers through his hair. He got pissed off last year, too, and looked into going back to school until he drifted away from the idea and signed a new contract for spring. "Do you still want to teach high school in the Bronx?"

"Yeah," he sighs. "It's way past time to do something else."

There's another leg to that, though. He's wrestled it for months and it's completely selfish but maybe it's what he needs. Maybe it'll open up his world and lessen the qualities about himself he likes least. It's a hell of a lot to ask, though. "Are you any closer to deciding?"

About retiring from gymnastics.

_Because I want to be a dad._

She knows what he's asked. "We can start talking about it."

It's not as good as an immediate yes, but he closes his eyes and sinks into the safety of being so close; there will be baggage to unpack when the talking starts. Like the superstition that his children have to be conceived in Odessa and how he doesn't want a nanny because he hopes they won't be so busy that they'll need one. "I think I gotta quit either way."

"I think you do, too."

He doesn't move, but she senses the moment his anger turns to sadness and she kisses the top of his head and holds on.

 

 

 

 ** ADVICE **

"I'm telling you this as a brother who loves you," Maks says. "But you gotta do something about this place."

It's his apartment. The same one as always. Not huge but a good view from about half the windows and old bathroom linoleum that's so ugly it circles back around into being awesome. "Do something how?"

"Like move out. It's way too small."

"Nah."

"We can't both be in the kitchen and open the refrigerator at the same time. That's crazy. And the big mirror isn't fooling anybody, it doesn't make it twice as big. You should move out by us. Get a nice big house and all that."

Val makes a face like he's thinking about it, but Maks knows he's only humoring him. "Don't you and Laurie ever need space? Away from each other?"

"Not really."

"You will when there's three of you. Believe me."

"There's a lot that I like about here, though. Like the location and how the soundproof windows are actually pretty good. And a lot of good stuff happened here, like papa leaning in that doorway when we were all freaking out about baby names. I don't think you were here for that."

"I wasn't."

"Oh my God." All of his best memories are about to be eclipsed when the baby comes, but the details of that day are embossed so deep it'll always be one of his favorites. "We special-ordered a bird's milk cake with pink inside and had gram cut it and everybody lost their fucking minds. And mom had the baby names book and everything they liked added up to like fifty syllables with our last name."

"They did that to us, too."

"And poor Laurie was shrinking under all the pressure and pop was leaning in the doorway like this." He demonstrates with arms crossed and a light frown. "And he said, 'We'll call her Anna.' And Laurie stood up and gave him the biggest hug and we all started crying and mama shut the book and that was it."

"Yeah, but you can't live here forever 'cause of that. Anna's bedroom won't have a window and she's only gonna be able to rollerskate in a three-foot circle. It's not healthy."

He's got a point, but then Val realizes something so big it hurts. "I like it here 'cause it reminds me of us growing up. Not enough room, being way too close...I love it. I don't want a baby monitor, I want to be in earshot, you know? I want my kid to have what we had."

Maks doesn't even try to argue with that, but ten minutes later the conversation's migrated to the Yankees and he drops the non sequitur, "I wasn't criticizing anything, you know. Maybe I want you to live closer to us so we'll see you more often."

 

 

 

** MADNESS **

As if Vegas wasn't a hot enough mess already, it was on fire thanks to NCAA March Madness. Laurie and Peta actually encouraged them to go - _it's only two days, go and have fun!_  But nothing about the dull headache gripping the back of Val's skull is fun, and he'd do just about anything to rewind the past 24 hours and not repeat most of it. 

He vaguely remembers being carried to bed by his brother, and when he woke in the morning he spent a sour few minutes of determining whether or not he could safely move, and then it hit his heart like a bomb, the biggest truth of his life that he'd lost sight of for several eighty-proof hours with people he didn't even know.

_I have a daughter._

He's got a wife, too, who probably loves him a little bit less right now.

He takes a shower but an acrid, still-drunk ooze presses at his pores even afterward. Their hotel suite had been sweet Babylonian opulence when they checked in but now it's garish and ugly and the last place he wants to be.

Maks doesn't look great, either. "Tired?"

"Sick."

"Ready to go?"

"Very."

Walking entails a whole new equilibrium and he's sweating for no reason...they'd called it a night somewhere around four and he has a gauzy memory of not wanting to. He loved being recognized, buying rounds, taking pictures & making people laugh - after his bracket fell apart he had to cheer up somehow, and it even worked for a while. None if it's worth it now, though. Not even close, and thank God his big brother has it together enough to arrange for a car to get them to the airport on time.

"It's good we'll get home at a decent hour," Maks says. "No workout today unless I wanna do it alongside a bucket, though."

"Don't talk about it."

He's far better off and uses it to tease. "Definitely don't think about mannaya kasha."

"Shut up."

"Cold. When it gets rubbery. With a skin on it."

"Don't."

"C'mon. Gimme one big dry heave and I'll leave you alone."

"You're the worst."

"Aw." Maks ruffles his hair. "You're just bitter 'cause you lost more than I did."

Funny how even his _follicles_  hurt. "Doesn't matter," he says, and rolls down the window for fresh air. "Peta's still gonna kill you."

*

He figures it'll help his case to provide a sheepish preview of his fuckups from the gate at McCarran; he leans against a pillar and keeps his voice down, thoroughly ashamed of himself. Laurie's already not happy with him. 

"I saw your posts before you deleted them," she says tersely. "Looks like you had a fun night."

"I didn't. Both our brackets went to hell and we went out drinking and smoked cigars to cheer up. It worked for a while, but I've felt like shit all morning."

"How much did you lose?"

"I dunno. Like...ten?" he whispers. "I'm sorry."

She says nothing.

He's never lost that much on anything before. They can afford it, sure, but he could've hung out with Maks in the sports book and lost a fraction of that and still had a good time. Fuck, they could've stayed _home_  and done that.

"I'll make that money back in a week if Nicole does the t-shirt I've been thinking about."

"I don't care about the money."

"How's Anna banana?"

"She's fine."

"I can't wait to see you two."

Nothing again.

She's not going to give him an inch so he bows out. "Uh, so it looks like they're gonna start boarding. I love you and I'll see you soon."

"Okay. Bye."

Oh, this is not good.

He scrolls through dozens of Anna pictures on his phone until the motion makes him nauseous, but he takes a good hard nap and eats on the plane and starts to feel a little more human somewhere over the Midwest.

"This weekend was almost fun and completely unnecessary," Maks admits.

"I agree. Now we know."

"At least there wasn't permanent damage, like tattoos we don't remember getting."

Val nods. "I decided where I'm gonna put the new one, but the way."

"Where?"

He pulls up his left sleeve and turns the inside of his forearm. _"Anna Valentinovna_  from here to here in big script. That way I'll never look at it upside down or see it backwards in a mirror like the shoulder one I almost got. I'll always see it exactly as it is."

"And that's the arm you hold her with."

"Uh huh. That too."

 

*

 

He tightens with nerves the closer he gets to home. Laurie thinks faster and argues smarter when she's angry and she greets him with a stony non-smile. "Anna's asleep so please be quiet."

"Kay." He drops his bag inside the door and feels out a cautious strategy to blame Maks. "I'm sorry about everything. You know how I get on a roll with my brother."

"Uh huh," she says stiffly, and he follows her to the kitchen and fills up a pint glass with cold water. There's such a wall up it's hard to believe that only a few days ago he'd been taking her apart in bed, memorizing all her new curves and sharing tender kisses while Anna slept. He's got to turn this around somehow.

"So about the money..."

"Val. Oh my God, it's not about the money. It's about you posting drunk pictures with girls sitting on your lap when the whole world knows you've got a baby at home. You know I trust you, but..."

"I'd had a few and I wasn't thinking. Like...stuff like that's normal there."

"That's fine, but if I see one more online stranger feeling sorry for me I'm gonna scream, okay? I don't need people thinking they know us."

He'd seen the comments, too. 

 

**Father of the Year.**

 

**Laurie deserves better than this.**

 

"I know it was stupid. That's why I took it down."

"Yeah, but you also put it up. Look, I know you like to have fun but not everything has to be a photo-op. Like maybe instead of documenting every inch of your life could just...I don't know. Live it."

It sounds like something papa would say. "I'm sorry," he says, and she turns for the hall, probably to wait in their room until she can stand the sight of him again. "I'm sorry!" he hollers after her. He should've come home with flowers, or maybe he should've remembered he's supposed to be fucking quiet because Anna sputters and starts to fuss.

_Shit._

He pinches his breath back to be quieter and sinks down with elbows to knees. Why can't he grow up and be a real man, and how the fuck is he making these amateur mistakes after being given so much? But Laurie's fixing it somehow; her intonations are like a song and she comes in with Anna in her arms, smiling down.

"Want to hold her?"

"Please. Thank you." Her familiar weight transfers to the crook of his arm and tears bite at his eyes over her powder-pink baby smell. Dark curls are stuck to her forehead from sleep and he smooths them back and blows a gentle draft over her. Laurie perches her rear on the chair's and they watch Anna's little nose wrinkle and her rosebud mouth weighing whether to yowl or be quiet. Reluctantly, her dark eyes open and she looks up at them.

"Look who's back, honey."

"Hey, lil sleepyhead." Anna recognizes him and closes her eyes, and he relaxes, too. Laurie's cool hand rests on the back of his neck; it almost feels like she's mad at him anymore.

"I'm glad you're home."

"I shouldn't have left."

 

 

 

** FLYING BANANA **

An unseen thread connects Anna to him, far finer than spider silk and it telegraphs twice as fast. She can't move or sniffle or coo without papa knowing it.

He wakes up to the soft creaks of her rolling out of her low toddler bed and walking to the kitchen. He rolls out of bed himself and finds her testing what non-fridge surfaces a Cyrillic alphabet magnet will stick to. 

Her hair's like a little explosion. "Morning, sweet baby nug," he says, and swings her up in his arms. "You have a good sleep?"

"I think so."

"Good. It's a shame mama's not here to see you so cute in your kitty jammies."

Laurie's in Cleveland with the gymnastics team doing what she calls 'sixty forty mentor/coach,' and of course it's nicer to have her around but it's total joy to have Anna all to himself. Like yesterday they ate whipped cream on cookies and watched cartoons and that shit would not fly on Laurie's watch.

"Can we do the Anna flying banana?"

"Hmm," he says grimly. "I don't know. It's pretty dangerous."

"Please?"

"Okay. But only once." He narrates a slow and dramatic walk to their bedroom doorway. "Once upon a time. There was a girl named Anna. She had a big puff of curls and eyes like sparkling root beer." Anna giggles. "Her mother was a famous gymnast and her father was not, and sometimes, when the time's just right, Anna transforms into...got your toes pointed?"

"Uh huh!"

"Arms out?"

"Yeah!"

"She becomes..." He takes two practice swings of increasing intensity. "A flying banana!" She screams with joy as she flies across the room and lands a perfect tuck in the divot where his shoulder is most of the night. It's no joke that it's dangerous and he can't wait for her to stop wanting this, but at the same time he'll miss it terribly.

He flops onto Laurie's untouched half of the bed. "What should we do after cartoons today?"

"Nuffin."

"Sometime we need to wash your hair and brush it."

She covers her head. "No!"

"Anna..."

"No!"

"You want gramma to come over and do it?" There's usually less screaming. Never none, but less.

"Don't want nobody!"

"It'll all be one big knot by the time mama gets home, and then it'll really hurt. So we gotta."

She patters his shoulder with a light flutter-kick and changes the subject. "What does she look like?"

"You know what mama looks like. Big eyes, curls like you...she looks like you."

"I forgot."

"You miss her? You wanna FaceTime?"

"Uh huh."

"Okay. Let's get the day started and then we will."

They have a quick breakfast and get dressed, then he calls Laurie. She's clearly at practice with lights far, far overhead. "You got a minute?"

"Hi! I guess so. Sorta busy but it's fine."

"Anna forgot what you look like."

"You did? Honey, I was just there yesterday morning. And I'll be back home in two days."

"But how long is that?"

"Not too long. Time goes fast when you're having fun with daddy."

She wriggles a bit, unconvinced.

"What's the matter?"

"I gotta go potty."

"Go take care of it and I'll be here when you get back."

She scampers away and Val settles into having Laurie all to himself.  Dark half-moons hang under her eyes and there's a fine line of tension creasing her forehead. "You okay? You look tired."

"I've got a headache hangover. It started late last night so I slept through most of it, but I forgot my Flexeril, so..."

"Can one of the medics prescribe you some?"

"I've been too busy to ask. It's just...the girls are right on that edge of being great and I have to be there for them, you know?"

"Sweetheart, you're gonna be useless to those girls if you don't take care of yourself." He leans over and looks for the paper calendar in the nightstand drawer. They've been charting her occasional headaches to gauge whether they're hormonal. If she's had another big estrogen dip it means...

"I got my period, by the way. It's probably for the best right now."

He feels sick. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry that you weren't happy when I left."

"Yeah well. I wasn't." Her ride showed up twenty minutes early and he was dick-deep in her when the knock came at the door. She had him stop and yeah, he was a pouty baby about it, but there was no danger of missing the flight and they were almost done anyway. "It's bad enough that we have to schedule it, but then to get interrupted..." He shakes his head; it's so much more than that. "I love you way too much for this to be our lives now."

He can hardly hear her. "I know."

"Mom! Momomom." Anna races back and holds hands out for the phone.

"Hey, you. So we'll practice all morning, then it gets serious this afternoon, and when I'm done around dinnertime you can tell me what you did all day."

"And I'll feed you all the tomatoes through the phone!"

"Om nom nom!" Laurie smiles. "Okay honey, I love you. Please give me back to daddy."

"Hey, so..."

"Hang on." Her attention turns to someone he can't see.

"Laurie?"

"Yeah. Wait." Again she looks to the side. "Okay, Val, I have to go. I'll call you later."

He sighs. "Fine."

He hangs up; the phone doesn't have time to black out and he books the tickets so fast he's worried he read the times wrong. "Anna baby, I need your help."

"Why?"

"You'll see. I need you to go to your room and get out your Mickey Mouse rollybag. Can you do that for me, please?"

He goes to his own closet and thinks what to bring...there's no reason to bring anything nice, considering his main activity will probably be lounging at the hotel with Laurie's head in his lap. He rolls up his comfiest clothes with her prescription bottle and heating pad from the nightstand and shoves it all in his black duffel. Anna's in the bedroom doorway.

"Did it!"

"Good girl. Now I need you to pack two undies and two Pull-ups, just in case."

"Kay!"

The instructions continue: socks, ruffled swimsuit, two outfits, hair ties, toothbrush. They make it to the airport on time and cruise through security blessedly unrecognized. It's so smooth he allows himself a celebratory Avion Silver with lime once they're on the plane, and Anna gnaws on a cookie and looks out the tiny window.

When they land there's a barrage of panicked texts from Laurie, evenly spaced out over the last hour and a half.

 

**Are we fighting?**

**I hate this. I'm getting a break at noon & i'm calling you**

**Val, please. I know you're not busy today so don't ignore me. I love you and we're better than this**

**VALENTIN. We can't ever lose sight of why God matched us.**

 

He writes back with a tight throat.

 

**_Dearest, I never lose sight of why I'm with you. I love you & we'll talk soon._ **

 

They cab it from the airport to the arena and Val has the driver wait outside.  They spy Laurie over by the balance beam, watching a shaky series with arms crossed and shadows under her eyes. It's a recognizable remnant of her headache, and Val's weighing how and when to interrupt when she sees them.

"Oh!" Her hand clamps over her mouth, eyes huge, and Val sets Anna down and she runs.

"Mama!" Laurie bends down and sweeps her up in a tight clutch. Val follows and closes them both in his arms.

"What are you two doing here?"

"We brought you this." The prescription bottle makes her a weepy and she squeezes him tight.

"Thank you. Oh my God, I thought you were mad at me."

"What? Never."

"Mama. Mom! I was on a plane!"

"Is that how you got here so fast? You're a real live flying banana. I'm so, so happy you're here, honey."

Little Rachelle is suddenly there; she's a 15-year-old bars prodigy and also Laurie's personal Blair Caldwell with her phone.

"Hi, Valentino."

"Hey, Rachelle."

"Rachelle, please stop taking pictures and get back over there."

"But you're fam goals."

"Thank you, but you'll never attain those goals if you're married to your phone."

"Can I please play with Anna if I'm careful?"

"Okay, but you have exactly one minute and don't get her all chalky." Anna idolizes all the big girls and runs away, leaving her parents alone.

Laurie shakes out a pill. "I can't remember where I set my water bottle..." she says, and Val produces the mini Dasani they stole from the plane. "You're so magic. Thank you." She takes a deep swig and lets it soak in, then completely drains it.

"Are you getting enough?"

"I thought so, but maybe not." 

"Come here." She looks exhausted, but instead of a lecture about working too hard or measuring what she gives the team against what it costs her, he hugs her again and makes sure it lasts a good long time. He's in one of his softest oldest shirts and she melts against him.

"Mmm. I could climb you like a tree."

He smiles into her hair. "I brought Anna's swimmy and thought we'd do the pool at the hotel and come back and watch."

"That'd be perfect. Thank you."

"It is such instinct to reach down and grab your ass right now."

"Please don't." She pulls back and winks, then turns and shouts, "Time's up, Rachelle! Back to work!"

Anna trots back over and everyone's kissed, everyone's hair gets tousled. Val pockets the room keycard and kisses Laurie one more time. "We'll see you soon."

"Kay. I love you."

"Love you too."

"Have a good swim, baby girl."

"Bye mama."

"Okay, baby nug. Let's roll." Leaving the arena Val looks over his shoulder to see Laurie at work and gets a happy twinge that she's watching them instead. Anna waves and they walk outside toward their idling cab.

"Where to now?" the driver asks.

"Metropolitan at the Nine and a good florist beforehand. Thank you."

He settles into the ride; the city skyline's far enough away that he has time, so he checks his phone. Laurie's posted a picture that Rachelle must have taken.

 

**Look who came all the way from the east coast to bring me something I forgot to pack. #husbandoftheyear #sweetbabynug #blessed @iamvalc**

 

He looks over at his daughter. "I think mama's happy we showed up."

"Mm hmm," Anna agrees.

"Go us."

He puts his hand out flat and she gives him five, then he takes her little hand and holds it for as long as she'll let him.


End file.
